Wha good fellas? Verde
here, your guide through the sex and blood (hopefully not mixed together)
filled world of Game of Thrones. As my good friends know I went bananas for
this show the second it came out. Read all the books in one summer, seen
seasons 1 and 2 about ten times each, and completely clear my schedule for
Sundays at 9. I truly think its HBO's best show ever, and thats coming from a
guy whose never seen The Wire, Oz, or The Soprano's -- I know, I suck. DGAF.
Anyway, Season 3 starts up
on March 31st and get ready, its gonna be a doozie. The third book was the best
of the series so far and they're splitting it up into two seasons. So the next
20 episodes should be seriously amazing. as long as they don’t fuck it up with
stupid story lines like this...
"wahhhhh
My daddy doesn't love me." Grow up
Peter Pan
And if the trailer is any
indication, which is kinda the point, this season is gonna be sick. You can
watch it here...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzI9v_B4sxw
Its only a minute long but
they pack a TON of cool shit into it. And I'll list a breakdown of it all for
all the guys, myself included, who came all over themselves at the mere thought
of Khalessi.
(0:04) HALF MAN!
(0:12)
Joffrey..........FUCK THAT KID. Haven’t seen anyone treat a whore like that
since my buddy g-string got a little too handsy with a stripper at The End Zone
out at Penn State
(0:14) my dopplegaanger
rob stark. (if we have female readers now is the time to swoon)
(0:15) Homeless Jaime
(0:16) Some dyke shoots a
bow and arrow
(0:23) Cant be sure but i
think these guys are the "Unsullied" dont want to give spoilers but
think of Navy Seals x the 300 Spartans
(0:24) KHALESSI
!!!!!!!!!!! Blue is definitely her second best color, next to naked
(0:29) Jon Snow, nothing
to say here, total boss
Talking,
Talking Talking Talking
(0:36) Burning Boat
****SPOILER ALERT: SOMEONE GONNA DIE*****
(0:46) Dragon looking REAL
legit, way better than that queer Brit Potter.
Talking
Talking Talking
Montage
of Rob, Arya, Homeless Jamie, MILF queen, HALF MAN!
End Scene
Like I said, tons of good
stuff in there and it all comes real quick. Just like me. Mark your calendars
for March 31st. I'll be drinking as much as possible from now and then to make
it go quicker and because I'm developing a dangerous alcohol dependency.
I'll be back with any show updates between now
and then, or if I feel like writing about anything else, like my booming sex
life or the selection of the new pope (that’s called Conclave for our small
hatted friends) and a full report on April 1st after the premier. And remember,
if you get a Throner, just your body telling you its excited, its natural, just
tuck it up into your waistband. It hides it, and it feels great!
P.S.
the song in the trailer is called Bones by MS MR. I’ve never heard them before,
but chances are my hipster friend knew about them before he was born, saw them
in an abandoned meat locker in Camden in 2007 but doesn’t like them now because
they sold out. Go figure, bands like to get famous and make money.
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