Verde-In Defense of Country Music
Country music is the best god damn music on the face of the
planet. I’m not a music snob by any means, and will listen to anything (except
new rap: outside of like 3 songs its godawful). However as far as bang for your
buck, country is the best, because it goes with every situation: driving, day
drinking, night drinking, tailgating, fucking, etc. Okay maybe old school
R&B is the best for fucking but anything to distract her from my tiny
penis, large gut, and overall terrible sexual prowess will do.
I once was like the rest of you, young, naïve, and ignorant
to this essential fact of life. Then one day freshman year, a senior friend of
mine, a mentor if you will told me something I’ll never forget. “90% of country
songs are about the 3 best things in the world: Drinking, Hot Chicks, and
America” – I don’t know about you but I think those are 3 pretty good things.
So I gave country a shot, and here I am, 4 years later, as big a fan as they
come. I’m aware this is an unpopular opinion in the New York/New Jersey area,
but fuck you, it’s a stupid opinion, broaden your horizons people. If you got a
problem come say it to my face this summer at Toby Keith at PNC. I’ll be the
one in an ignorant tank top, camo shorts, double fisting tallboys, probably
hooking up with an ugly girl or two.
Drinking- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XtMy5IBmX7EHot Chicks- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7HX4SfnVlP4
America- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWrMeBR8W-c
P.S. If you think having a mentor is gay kid’s a Navy SEAL
now, learning Tagalouge, the native language of the Pillipines, Dude’s gonna be
killing pirates in like 2 months. Excuse me for looking up to him
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